A Heart like David

Traffic Delays.

2009-06-27T01:07:00.000-07:00

SLOW... I know.

new blog post very soon... get ready... it's a doozy. (whatever that is..?)

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY POPS.

I have never met a man with more character or integrity than my father... and for that I owe him everything... True character is a quality that is a hard find and I am so thankful to be shaped by such an amazing father.

Love you pops...

Always Have... and Always Will.

An Old Soul

2009-04-15T00:31:00.000-07:00

I started to attend a class today entitled ICU. It's a place where people who have been broken by the church can get together and just heal, share life, and love one another. It brought up a lot of repressed memories and heartache. I wanted to bring back the blog with a very raw and personal entry I wrote on 7/28/08. This date is important because it was the day after my father was fired from our church. This was actually written at 5:17 am... so disregard the unease and randomness to the entry... I just thought i'd share... raw, real heartache... and I hope that it helps those who are hurting.

7/28/08

Have you ever watched your life fall apart in front of your own eyes? My heart is broken far beyond any compare. I know that time will be the only thing to heal my soul. I lie here knowing that tomorrow will be no better than today. My family will be broken. And my heart may not be able to take the pain. I have no emotion except broken. My family is in shambles, I’ve lost one of my closest friends, and I see no good choice within the past four weeks. I reach for God’s hand, and I know it’s there. I know that He has to have something for me. Something important something life changing, something more. But, what? I’m 21 years old and I have some of the wisdom that not even the eldest of people posses. My heart is passionate. I need Gods peace. I need Him. For so many years I have blinded myself. Diverging from my true purpose, I have fallen short. My God holds me accountable, and to Him I give my shattered soul. Mend me, oh Lord. Heal my family’s hurt. Take away my sorrow. Take away the pain of the church. They do not know what they do. They do not see the destruction that lies around the corner, they no not. I feel the pain of everyone suffering, I feel the wait of their souls, and it is not my burden to carry. What will I do with my gifts? Will I waste away under the pressure of this world? Will I be greeted by a greater future? Why am I so quick to make such stupid choices? When will I take my stand for you? I see day breaking outside my window. It’s poured all night long, my tears flowed from the sky like a great fountain. We’re they mine? Or Yours? I don’t want to give up. I want to fight the good fight, Run the Race, and finish. Let your word guide me and my family through our circumstances, for only you can show me the way. Let this be my stand. I will forever be yours, no one will go before, as long as I shall live. I am your daughter, hold me close, and never let me go.

Raw, real experience.

La-la-lacrosse!!!

2009-03-03T06:28:00.000-08:00

So my coach put up some of these photos on her blog.. and I thought I HAD to share! We ended up winning the game 15-8... and it was pouring rain and VERY VERY muddy! SO enjoy!

Celeb-Look-A-Like

2008-12-14T21:12:00.001-08:00

So... one of my guy friends told me today that I look like Katie Holmes...

What do you think? Ever been accused of having a celeb twin?

Series? Seriously, I said series?

2008-11-30T22:03:00.000-08:00

So. I'm absolutely awful on the follow through. (thank you Matt Westermayer).

Let me clarify. In my last blog post... I stated "I'm going to do a series of blogs..." which actually meant... I'm going to write one blog... and then by the time I get around to writing another one i'm going to be caught up in a different issue, and blog about that.

Sorry about the confusion...

ANYWAYS. I've been thinking a lot about "Christians" or this idea that we call "Christianity". Somewhere in this thought process I realized when I hear the word "Christian" I imagine a group of people that have met these certain "un-written requirements", not someone who is believes in God. Here are some of the examples I thought of when brainstorming the word "Christian"...

1. Someone who without hesitation can complete the phrase, "and all God's people said...."

2. Someone who no longer talks about culture... but now refers to "the culture".

3. Someone who takes these perfect reflected images of God, known as their family, and compresses them into a few 3x3 inch pieces of cheap plastic cut into fish shapes and slaps them on the back end of their mini-van.

4. Someone who can translate any two of the following acronyms... NLT, KJV, WWJD, or NIV.

5. Someone who has logged more hours in a church building than they have spent:
A. actually reading their bible OR B. investing time into cultivating their relationships with people

6. Someone who can take offense to the last five points and/or have done/or could answer any of the last five points.

SO you ask where I'm going with this... I hate that a word that is supposed to DESCRIBE who I am... now DEFINES who I am. I hate having to answer the question... "are you a Christian?" with yes... I believe in God... but i'm not like those religions you hear about. Since when did the term "Christian" turn into a definition of someone who idolizes man-made worship practices, and not someone who just simply... loves God. After my past few sentences... I feel bad even capitalizing the word "christian", as if I can sum up my relationship with God into two syllables.

What are some words/phrases you think of when you hear the word "Christian"? And SIDE-NOTE... this isn't about bashing... because I had to answer yes to more of those points than I wanted to. I just want to know when did I miss the big memo that said "Christians are now defined by WHAT they do, not WHO they do it for."

I'm done being a stereotype.

World Changers

2008-11-17T15:55:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a generation who changed the face of Christianity.

I've decided to do a set of blog posts about the one thing I feel God has given me a gift with... and that's evangelism. Although when I just typed that word a small shudder went down my back, because when I hear the word evangelism... I, like most people, imagine this right-winged, finger-pointing, being who believes that our world is ONLY full of sin and we must repent now to see the glory of heaven.

BUT i'm about to turn the tables.

Before I can get into the heart that I have for lost people, I have to address my audience. This first blog post will hopefully be an awakening to your potential. Most Christians I know have a hard time swallowing the idea of stepping out of the "comfort zone" and being... well... like Jesus.

The way Jesus approached the idea of 'loving people' would be equivalent to your entire church body watching you walk into a 'novelty' store. (aka. adult gift store). I can feel the humiliation and condemnation from people without actually experiencing it. But that's what Jesus did. Jesus walked straight into that adult store and proclaimed love. You can see this in action when Jesus walks straight through Samaria, the place known for its pagan and promiscuous culture.

We are living in a pagan and promiscuous culture NOW... but where are our 'Christians' walking?

So before I can continue my blogs on evangelism... we've got to walk into Samaria. Or at least take a step toward that area. We have to swallow our pride, pick up our Christian stereotypes and not be afraid to launch ourselves into something bigger.

The first jump is always the hardest.

So I leave you with this.

To church leaders and Christians who have enough missional courage to do whatever it takes to escape the Christian subculture and be citizens of the kingdom rather than citizens of the bubble.[JOHN 17:15].

*scripture quote from "They like Jesus but not the Church" by Dan Kimball.

Switching It Up...

2008-10-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

So I know I was going to talk about cowardism... but i'm being led in a different direction!

Today I watched a movie known as "The Lottery" (and no, i'm not talking about the two minute lotto picks at the end of the News). In the movie, the whole town believes in this "lotto" idea. Every year they hold a town "lotto" and who ever is chosen... is stoned to death... which in turn God "blesses" their sacrifice with a thriving community. There's a lot of minor plotting, but you get the main idea. So all-in-all, although the movie is somewhat repugnant, the underlying theme is about tradition. It was originally a book, the author wanted to express how outlandish our traditions in society can get... AND ITS TRUE!

Okay so i'm going to segue-way for a second... but I promise I will return for the relevance of the movie...

So as I was driving to St. Louis this afternoon, I was preparing for my "video interview" for a series we're going through about taking steps toward God. So I was practicing my "story", you know the one where you talk about the before's and after's of being a Christ follower, and the strangest thought came over me. What if they ask me my favorite bible verse? And you're thinking... why would they ask her about her favorite bible verse when she's shooting a video about her "story"? That's just how my brain works. So I was going through my head and thinking... I don't really know a whole bunch of bible verses... or I do... and I have NO idea where in the bible they came from! So I started panicking... trying to think of some clever bible verse that will make it seem like i've actually been a Christian for the past 10 years...

At that point I believe is when God was looking at me slowly shaking His head in silent laughter... as if He hasn't taught me anything. It's not the words or the Bible verses that make me a Christian. Then I started having an argument in my head about the importance of Bible verses in today's culture. Here's what I've learned:

-One. You don't have to know the Bible cover-to-cover to be a Christian.

-Two. When you're talking about God with a non-believer it's probably best to leave the thou
shalt's and thou shalt-not's at home.

-Three. It's good to be armed with the word of God, but you can lead someone to Christ without
even pulling out a Bible.

Here's where the tradition comes in. Sometimes we get caught up in this "religion thing", and it can hinder God's work just as much as it can help it. Yes, don't get me wrong... it is GREAT to memorize bible verses... it can be your sword in battle especially when someone is trying to test your faith. But there's another point i'm trying to make. I've seen it plenty of times, new Christian questioning their roll or their purpose in life seeks a new Christian and is... "scripturized." Maybe they're questioning their sexuality, well you can either whip out the Old and New Testament and read to them why its a HUGE sin and what a BIG mistake... or you can listen, share stories, love on them. Then if they're still interested share a passage... or recommend a book. The only reason I choose this example is because I've seen it happen. Seeker searching for love, love in action, not a love from a book written by some guys that they don't even know or grasp yet. They need love now in a way that the action SHOWS Gods love.

So as I pondered the entire "mind argument" thing I was working on I realized that I don't have to have a favorite verse or chapter anything. If I have one great... but since I didn't it's fine. I don't have to know the Bible word-for-word to be a Christian.... and God still loves us anyways.

So I ask... Are you getting caught up in all these words that your actions no longer show Gods love?

leaders.

2008-09-29T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'd like to start with two truths.

Leader: [lee-der]
1. a person or thing that leads
2. one who gives guidance and direction.
3. one who inspires.

Boss: [baws,bos]
1. a person who employs or superintends workers; manager.
2. a person who makes decisions, exercises authority, or DOMINATES.
3. to be master of or over, manage, direct or control.

Its sometimes hard to distinguish between the words leader and boss. Let me Clarify.

On one hand a "leader" can guide a "follower" into a Godly direction, while a "boss" can make the "follower" choose that direction without the "followers" input. In another hand a "boss" can make things happen then and now, while a "leader" can portray his/her direction in an enlightening manner. Or even a "boss" can decide to fire a person without reason, while a "leader" can choose to fire a person and be honest and firm.

Here's the cliff-notes version: A leader molds situations and gives his followers a choice and direction, while a boss controls the situation by exercising authority.

So here's my question for you... when you look back at your life experiences... or when God has placed you in a role of governing... did you impact your "followers"? You may not be able to think of a time where you were put in a big leadership role, but it's not always about the "big things" that make a difference. Maybe someone's idea of a leader is only expressed in the movement of large audiences, but yet a true leader could make an impact for only one. It's not about quantity, for if you're moving to impact one person for God, God can move and impact a thousand.

************************

When I was around 16 or 17 I was dumped. Normal, I know. It was the routine Godly check-up that shouted I was headed in the wrong direction too quickly (which I realize now... not so much at the time). I was hurt, sad, upset, ect... It was a normal reaction to a normal life process. Before this "life process" I was a happy-go-lucky newbie Christian, impacting my community and trying to make a difference. My family wasn't involved in church, but that didn't stop me... I was on fire. P.B. (or post breakup) I was broken, confused, I didn't understand how God would allow people to "betray me" and dismiss our so-called "friendships". You see I was so caught up in my "relationship" that I didn't allow myself to build true bridges and foundations. So when God shook what I though was a firm foundation, I landed in the middle of sand. I was left in the middle of a "Christian community" with nothing but my faith in God and my faith in myself. I actually understood what it meant to be a "leper". But I persisted, I knew that Gods plan was greater than what these "Christians" thought of me, or even my own thoughts of blaming God. I knew I was there for a reason, and even though I would sit and cry to myself every Sunday, I knew deep down, there was something more... and there was. God used my determined nature and my heart to become a true leader. Within those few months of what I deemed torture, God allowed my heart to be a proclamation to my greatest accomplishment. I impacted an entire generation, I impacted a way of life, I changed the course of history... I impacted my families lives forever. With my small accomplishment God transformed hundreds of people, the people my father impacted, the people my mother impacted, the people my friends impacted. I made a difference.

That is the reason behind this blog, because I understand leadership. By no means have I sacrificed anything of great value, but I understand why i'm a leader. I know that God has given me a true sense of leadership and heart for people. I, by NO MEANS, am perfect. GOODNESS I am FAR FAR FAR from perfect. But I'm also not just some stupid, young girl that posts on a blog to stir a pot. I post with purpose, I have meaning, and no one can sway my thinking.

I am a child of God. I am a Leader for Christ. I am not perfect. I impact to make a difference. I impact to make a change.

So next time you hear the word "leader" or "leadership", make sure you listen. Because they might actually be substituting a nicer name for "boss".

*By no means does the above stated come from the views of a church, the thoughts are mine alone.
**Stay tuned for my next blog when I discuss my thoughts on cowards.

MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC

2008-09-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

SO last night I had the pleasure of hanging out and selling merch at the Hope Concert at Windsor Crossing. I had a blast and had the chance to hang out with some pretty awesome musicians. I wanted to give them a shout out... because I know how hard it is to make it in music... SO if you guys get a chance download a couple of their songs... see what you think!

First off was Chris Taylor. (who is a mac user... and is very cool). His new CD is a cool mixture... I would almost say Leeland/postalservice sound. You can download his stuff on iTUNES, Just search Chris Taylor.

Up after Chris was Alli Rogers. Her voice was just like her CD, and she was also a very talented musician. She has a similar sound to Bethany Dillion and if you've ever heard of the Stars... she also has a vibe similar to them. She was very nice and I actually started selling her stuff before I was moved down to the RS table.

Last in the line up was the headliner... of course Robbie Seay is always awesome. For those of you One Tree Hill fans... his music was featured last week! ANYWAYS... I spent most of my time selling RS Merch... and had a blast with their "roadies" for lack of a better word. If I never make it big... I could always sell merch... haha.

LIKE I SAID... CHECK OUT THE NEW BANDS... THEY ALWAYS APPRECIATE THE SPREAD OF MUSIC... SUPPORT OUR MUSICIANS!

A Heart like David... Revamped.

2008-09-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

About time... I know!

I feel like this has been a long time coming... every time I get ready to write another blog... I get caught up in human emotions... that or I feel... uninspired.

WELL... not any more! I've changed the look of my blog and its given me something to write about! I've not only changed the look of my blog... but as most of you know am going through a whole other transformation. Having your life ripped out from under you... sure changes a person! But for those of you who are actually concerned... I'm doing great.

I've started to really enjoy the STL life. I've always loved it... but was always back and forth so much... I never had the chance to REALLY enjoy it. I've started serving at another church, which actually took no time at all. God always uses the willing! I've started school, which is always exciting.... wink. I've also made some great friends... surprisingly most are from FredMo. I've been looking a lot into the future to see where I'm headed to... and so far... I'm still mystified. The only thing I'm NOT mystified about is that I know God has a plan for me, and is leading me to where I belong. I do miss having my family around... they are truly phenomenal people and have there hearts with God. BUT they're always a phone call away! (and if need be a quick drive!) I'm glad that God is healing their hearts and is bringing some awesome people into it. I know that God is going to reveal His plan for my father and our family soon... and if not... we're only growing from the wait.

Well.. I'm slowly falling asleep... I will continue later with some more blogs! Look out!

**sorry if I offended anyone... or bashed any "good people" this was not my intent.

Words of Wisdom

2008-07-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder where Natalie gets the inspiration from some of her songs... I know that one of my favorites by her was actually partly written by Matthew West (not you, other matt, the famous one.. haha) I was going to quote some of the lines that really were an impact to me.. but as you read these lyrics... it's really hard to key out a certain one. It's very honest, which is what makes her work impact so many people. It's hard to be honest or real in todays society, because we convince ourselves that when we're honest we could lose everything. Friends, family, trust, money, time, minds, bodies and even God. But nothing we could ever say or do can impact Gods perfection. He lived and died, gave us life, and heals hearts when they're broken. No matter where we are, where we've been, what we've done, or what we could ever do can take away his love and forgiveness. My life may be hurting and my heart might be breaking, but in no way can I ever give God the credit for another humans imperfections, I love God, and I know that he brings us through the pain and troubles of our lives. always.

Before Natalie Grant sang this song she quoted this piece of scripture

Isaiah 29:13-14

These people make a big show of saying the right thing.
But their hearts aren’t in it.
Because they act like they’re worshiping me
But don’t mean it.

I’m going to step in and shock them awake,
Astonish them, stand them on their ears.

The wise ones who had it all figured out will be exposed as fools.
The smart people who thought they knew everything will turn out to know nothing.

Never let him see you when your breaking
Never let him see you when you fall
Thats How We Live
And Thats How We Try

Tell The world you've got it all together
You never let him see what's underneath
We cover it up
with the crooked smile
but it only lasts for a little while

there's no such thing as perfect people
there no such thing as a perfect life
so come as you are, broken and scarred
lift up your heart and be amazed, and be changed
by a perfect god

Suddenly its like a weight is lifted
when you hear the words that you are loved
he knows where you are
and were you've been
and you never have to go there again

theres no such thing as perfect people
theres no such thing as a perfect life
so come as you are, broken and scarred
lift up your heart and be amazed and be changed
by a perfect god

Who lived, and died, to give you life
to heal our inperfections
so look up, and see love, and let grace be enough

There no such thing as perfect people
YEAAA
tehren's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
lift up your heart and be amazed and be changed
by a perfect god
by a perfect god
by a perfect god
yyeaaa
by a perfect god
be changed by a perfect god
be changed

The Lyrics have it.

2008-07-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

I'm really glad God has gifted Natalie Grant... because i'm here to tell you... I don't know what I would do with out the bible and the lyrics to some of her songs. I'm a strong indepentant woman and I will not be moved. So as you read these lyrics you have a glimpse of my heart for a moment... I am strong and I love people and I love God... no one can take that away from me.

I have been the wayward child*I have acted out*I have questioned Sovereignty*And had my share of doubt*
And though sometimes my prayers feel like*They're bouncing off the sky*The hand I hold won't let me go*And is the reason why...

I will stumble*I will fall down*But I will not be moved*I will make mistakes*I will face heartache*But I will not be moved*On Christ the Solid Rock I stand*All other ground is sinking sand*I will not be moved*

Bitterness has plagued my heart*Many times before*My life has been like broken glass*And I have kept the score*Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed*That I was far too gone*My brokenness helped me to see*It's grace I'm standing on*

I will stumble*I will fall down*But I will not be moved*I will make mistakes*I will face heartache*But I will not be moved*On Christ the Solid Rock I stand*All other ground is sinking sand*I will not be moved*

And the chaos in my life*Has been a badge I've worn*Though I have been torn*I will not be moved*I will not be moved*I will not be moved*I will make mistakes*I will face heartache*But I will not be moved*On Christ the Solid Rock I stand*All other ground is sinking sand*

I will not be moved*I will not be moved

A New Idea

2008-07-06T21:33:00.000-07:00

FINALLY... A POST!

2008-06-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post my picture of me with one of my role models that I met today... It was an awesome experience and I learned a lot of awesome things this weekend at WOMEN OF FAITH... I'm going to try to get pictures up and give you a little recap of each speaker/singer...

MY NATALIE SYNOPSIS..

First of all I have to start out by saying God has given a great gift to a girl who is not afraid to embrace it. I was so impressed not only by her vocals but her spirit. She holds a lot of the same passions I do... singing (of course)... and teens.

Speaking of teens I want to put in a little plug for "THE REVOLVE TOUR". The revolve tour looks absolutely amazing this year and I am super pumped about being there. It's not until october so I am going to be in long anticipation.. BUT for all of you girlies that read my blog... If you want to attend the tour... LET ME KNOW! You can check out information revolvetour.com I am going to volunteer.. SO if you want to go... I will find a way for anyone who wants to attend that opportunity... Even if it means getting a bunch of friends to volunteer for free tickets... providing a carpool.. and stuffing girls in my apartment... all of which are doo-able! So let me know!

ANYWAYS! Back to Natalie. (yes on the first name basis... I find that appropriate... I did meet her! haha.) two words... Phenomenal Heart. I pray that I be as great a role model as she is for me. She's impacted women/girls around the United States and I pray that I allow God to use me as a vessel for that same purpose. Her Genuine Worship and leadership was shining today and I encourage anyone who has the chance to see Natalie in person to seize that opportunity.

It's getting late... and I have to go to Arcadia Valley tomorrow... AV WORSHIP! practice at 7am...

Next blog will either be... Patsy or Patty... I leave it a surprise for now...

God thank you for the opportunity to experience your grace and mercy. I pray that my life be a mirror reflecting your love. I know I can't always be perfect, though I try... I do. You're always there to back me up.. thick and thin... I pray for my church family and Bryan as he preaches this weekend. And I pray that you guide my actions and words when my mind isn't always on you. You are my savior... my hope... my shelter... my FATHER.

Happy Father's Day.

yours.

A Weekend Recap

2008-05-05T18:11:00.000-07:00

This weekend we had a little lesson in patience... which is not too much of a touchy subject for me... I feel pretty patient.. most of the time... At least I hope so! Okay... So I do pout if I don't get my way when I want it... but that has nothing to do with patients right?? haha. So here's a little memoir for the weekend... enjoy the video...

TA DUH

2008-04-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

Okay so this week at school has been actually pretty busy... I really just wanted to update my blog! I wish I had time or even something interesting to talk about.. but not today... maybe tomorrow. I was just tired of looking at my same blog everytime I opened up this page .. haha.

Well I hope everyone is have a great face-paced week.

hopefully not TOO crazy!

A Weeks Recap

2008-03-20T19:27:00.000-07:00

SO i'm finally back into posting mode after my marvelous vacation! Though I would like to say... during my vacation I just so happened to break my glasses... SO tomorrow I'm on hunt for a new pair... or contacts... we will see!

Other than that things have been going pretty well for not being around for a few days... i'm glad nothing fell apart! ha.

SO today I worked until 8pm... but toward the evening I started to get a really bad feeling. As if something bad was going to happen. I called friends and family... everything seems to be going well there. But I have a feeling I should look toward the future and prepare... I really think there is going to be spiritual warfare... I pray that i'll be ready!

On the brighter side i'm reading a phenom book entitled "To Live is Christ" by Beth Moore. I've read a lot of her work and am excited to start in on this one. It's about the life of Paul who is one of my favorite apostles. I'm excited to delve deeper into his three missionary trips and I'm excited to look further into the life of the man who wrote such evangelistic letters such as Romans and Acts. So I pray that I will be able to implement what I learn from a man who had such a great heart for God's people and those who were seeking his kingdom.

I really wanted to recommend reading Christian literature. I really think i've grown so much from just reading other peoples journey's.

Here are some books i've really found to be AWESOME:

Velvet Elvis-ROB BELL
Blue like Jazz-DONALD MILLER
Seizing your Divine Moment/THE BARBARIAN WAY/ UPRISING-ERWIN MCMANUS
Going All the Way-CRAIG GROESCHEL

Here are a couple of business style books that i've also enjoyed reading:

Good to Great-JIM COLLINS
Launching a Leadership Revolution-CHRIS BRADY
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team-PATRICK LENCIONI
How Full is your Bucket-TOM RATH

OKAY so that's just a few of the books i've read lately... They're in no particular order... but I def. recommend them...

I hope everyone has a very very very HOPPY Easter!!

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO.....

2008-03-13T21:04:00.001-07:00

So in about twelve hours i'll be headed in a car with Sharon and Krys to the wonders of Mississippi. I'm excited but at the same time... I think going on vacation adds just as much stress as the normal day to day living. What if I forget something. Did I pack the right outfits!? What if the car breaks down? What if there is a serial killer loose at our hotel??? Well... Needless to say... I believe it'll be worth it... if anything i'll come back with a WHOLE bunch of pictures and new inside jokes that we can laugh about for the next ten years.

This will be my first official "spring break" trip. So hopefully nothing goes too terrible awry.

Keep us in your prayers!

This is how the japanese teach their kids to use the potty.

2008-03-12T15:39:00.001-07:00

There are no words to explain how FUNNY this video is... I can't believe that they actually show this to little kids!!! If you are offended easily.. don't watch... okay... it's not actually that bad... but I did pee my pants a little!

SPRING BREAK

2008-03-10T15:29:00.000-07:00

It's official I'm on spring break!

Alicia, Krys and I (The blonde, brunette and the red head). Are going to Buloxi MS for our spring break... We leave on Friday... I"M SO READY TO GO! Wellp i'll be giving you more updates later!

ENJOY THE NICE DAYS!

A Series of Unfortunate Events.

2008-03-05T08:21:00.000-08:00

GOOD MORNING.

I thought i'd give you a little update about the wonders of living on your own... in a city... where you don't really know anyone within 20 minutes of your apartment building. ANYWAYS... to continue with my story....

this morning I got ready a little earlier than normal because it was really important to be at school on time at 10 am because it was presentation day in speech class. (not for me but we are required to be an audience). ANYWAYS. SO instead of leaving the usual time of 9am... I decided it be best because I suck at driving in the snow... I left at 8:30am. SO I go out to my car... start it up... start to defrost the windows... and I get out and scrape off the 7 inches of snow off my car... with of course a umbrella... which is my make shift of a window scraper thing. So 5 minutes go by I finish cleaning off enough snow to see out the windows in the important visible spots... I hop in the car ready to go... and I put it in gear... and it dies!! I'm like NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I look down and the gas light is on. I'm thinking... I had a half tank... what?! It then dawned on me... I live in a real shady neighborhood... thank you crip on the stop sign... Someone could have easily syphoned my gas out of my gas tank. SO I think to myself crap... my roomie has already left what am I to do??? So luckily my neighbor hadn't left yet so she ran me over to the QT and I bought one of those little red things that carries 1gal of gas and went outside and filled it up and went on home. Well if you've never used on of those gas things before... you definitely need a lesson... I could NOT get the little nozzle thing to attach to the red thing!!! I struggled for probably 20 min with my neighbor (who's also a girl) and COULD NOT get the stupid thing to attach... I finally called my father who rectified my mistakes and was able to finally pour the gas into the car. I resumed position behind the wheel and started to turn the key and you know what sound my car made??? I'll tell you... click.... click... click... click. You've GOT to be kidding me! yes... there was no noise... so my father goes... well it must be either your battery and/or alternator. Well good thing neither my neighbor nor I had jumper cables.. you know.

SOOO... the moral of the story is... I don't know. Buy a lock for your gas cap when you live in the city. and/or. Apparently God was saving me from some natural disaster that could've happened while I was on the road. either way... it was NOT meant for me to leave the house today. I guess i'll be working on some music and moving some boxes down to the basement.

I hope you enjoyed my long drawn out story. Pray that something terrible isn't wrong with my car!

P.S. this is going to make snow day #2

Posting... again??

2008-03-04T06:12:00.000-08:00

II must be crazy! haha... two posts in I believe 24hrs! haha. Well I just wanted to boast about my MAC... for those of you who have not experienced the fun of a MAC... YOU NEED TO! Theres an application known as Photobooth... where you can spend countless hours with friends taking the most absurd pictures.. its as addicting as facebook/youtube... and I would know... i'm addicted to both. SO if you haven't experienced the wide worlds of mac... you need to!

P.S. it's massively blizzarding here in STL. Which is awesome. (why? no school)

Have a great SNOW day... or for those of you not experiencing the cold... bah humbug.

Slowly But Surely

2008-03-03T17:14:00.000-08:00

Soo.. i've been working on my album... well as much as I can.

It seems as soon as you set yourself to do something... You get super busy!! I feel like i've got 1000 things to do and no sleep to do it! I'm sure everyone knows what that's like!

Well I just wanted to update everyone on the advancements.... or lack there of.. haha.

I hope you guys have a great week and keep God first!

A bucket off the bucket list

2008-02-27T12:51:00.000-08:00

SOO...

i've decided.

I of course was inspired to write down my own bucket list after watching the movie... which I saw... quite a while ago... but I've decided I'm going to start working on it... One of my big ones on my list is to write and produce an entire CD worth of MY music.. so roughly 10 songs! It's a big undertaking but a fun one. I'm hoping to finish it by... as soon as possible. I'm really excited. God's really blessed me with a lot of talent so I think this might be doable. I want all the songs to reflect the impact God has had on my life. Who knows... maybe one day i'll be famous and you guys will be here throughout the whole journey... OR... I will finish my CD and every time I listen to it... It will comfort me and give me a sense of accomplishment. I'm so excited to get started! I'll try to keep this updated... with lyrics... struggles... laughs... dumb moments... God moments... all of the above...

SO keep an eye out blogettes and bloggers...

and let me know whatcha think!

Sara Bareilles - Love Song

2008-02-22T10:39:00.001-08:00

This song is so catchy! I wanted to post it on my blog.. just because i've been hearing it a lot lately. She wrote this song because the record company wanted her to write a love song... so she did. haha. well I guess kind of an un-love song.

Opperation: "V-DAY"

2008-02-12T08:23:00.000-08:00

I thought since LOVE was in the air... I'd do a lovely LOVE post. haha.. All of my friends at MOBAP are celebrating the day by showing their colors... aka black. Someone decided that V-day is only about those with boyfriends/girlfriends and those without. SO they're going to wear all black to separate the lovers... SINCE i'm a lover not a fighter... i'm opposing and wearing the normal holiday colors. ALTHOUGH I do not have a significant other. WHY?

1. I like pink

2. I like to be festive

3. I love my family and my friends and my church and of course God... and lots of other things too.

SO In celebration of the holiday i'm going to wear my PINK loud and proud.

Also I would like to state that there are three types of love... and I don't think V-day only celebrates just the Reyah or the ahavah or the dode. It celebrates love as a whole and all its parts.

SO if you officially love something.. wether it be yourself.. or someone or ANYTHING...

wear your colors!!

Being... Myself

2008-02-03T17:25:00.000-08:00

I love being me... not as in I love myself... but as in I love being able to be myself... get it?

It's so crazy how easy it is to put on a mask when your in front of different crowds. Your this person here and your that person there. I'm sure God looks down at us and wonders what we're doing... and who exactly are we trying to impress. The funny thing is we think that if we wear these masks we can fool people... when really we're just fooling ourselves. Though there are those people who can really pull off their masks well. I think in the past I was a great actress. Wearing my "church" mask, wearing my "friends" mask, wearing my "family mask", wearing my "i'm too hot to trot" mask (don't ask me where I thought of that)... But in all reality I live on earth for Him,, for my number one. He knows who I am and what i'm about... with or without the masks. SOO. this post is just to re-embrace my freedom from masks. I love being myself and I think other people love me for me.

I'm glad i'm not classified as the church girl, or the girl who gets good grades, or some other stereotype... I hope that when people look at me they say.. hey look there goes Kayla she's awesome, she has a great heart, she loves God, she's real.

SO for all of those people wearing your masks out there...

as Natalie Grant says,

"take off your masks and live with the rest of us imperfect people!"

HAVE A GRREAT WEEK!

and don't forget be REAL.

JOB...

2008-01-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

Wow... like most people in the world.. i'm looking for yet another job.

I work for Missouri Baptist 10hrs a week. I work for a place known as Franklin Covey for about 10 hrs a week. and now.. I need another job.

So if anyone has any ideas... let me know!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

2008-01-23T20:16:00.000-08:00

Welcome back... oh wait.... I should be saying that to myself! It's yet again been forever! i've been working on my speech for my, of course, speech class. We were told to give an informative speech...

my winning topic??.....

The three types of love.

I've found many interesting things. I love the Rob Bell video.. I believe it's called flame, or fire or something to do with burning. He gives a great example. The book I just finished, Going all the way, also dealt with the types of love. I love how this blogger, Alex C did a great job explaining all three types.

We were talking in my life group about which life fear we were most afraid of, rejection, affection or failure. Of course everyone was like I have a fear of rejection... or I have a fear of failure... and I was like I really don't know. WELL of course my best friend... alicia... knew... affection. A fear of affection?! and of course what topic did I get chosen to write about?? love. coincidence I think not. psh.

After thinking about it I've come to the conclusion... I'm not afraid of being rejected because i've been asked out a few times since school started and I have no problem rejecting anything. hhaha. okay thats a joke.. though I did say no. I think I have a fear of being tied down. I love being independent and at this point in my life its okay. I especially think its okay with my parents... though alicia def. would love to have someone to go on double dates with :). but none the less I think that I'll say yes when the right guy comes along... until then... I'm going to write my papers on love... and love it! haha. no pun intended. okaay.. so I intended the pun.

anyways! keep on the look out for my LOVE paper AND a little self digging paper, into the soul of Kayla Marie... that would make a great trailer.
Trailer trash.. bwahha. j/k j/k.

It's been forever!!

2008-01-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

I feel like I haven't posted in forever!! Which is crazy!

I was like okay i'm going to post... what am I going to write?? I'm still undecided.

I guess I'll just give you a little update:

*I'm back at school... whoohoo
*I'm teaching two labs... i'm super stoaked about that
*I miss my best friends
*I miss my family
*I've only been out of fredericktown for three days... and i'm already to be at home! (what?!)
*Relationships are so difficult
*My favorite pick-up line i've received this week: So... hows your boyfriend?

well... nothing too crazy today... i'm going to try to post something thoughtful later... we'll see how that goes! haha.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day. Remember... everyday is a blessing... and everyday could be your last!

FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE

2008-01-12T22:53:00.001-08:00

OKAY.... First of i'd like to say... to all those Die-hard flute players... flutes are the one instrument... that I really just DON"T LIKE... sorry mom. BUT everyone in the music world has heard of flight of the bumble bee... and everyone knows that the song is stinkin hard... SOOO i'm giving props to this flute player... not only does he nail the song.... but beatboxes right along with it...

be prepared to be amazed....

A tribute to the first lady

2008-01-09T07:56:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to say thanks to Joe for posting such a awesome picture of me and my momma! I also wanted to let everyone know how much my mom means to me! Family is everything and you should cherish yours. Remember the good times... Re-live the great times... and forgive the stupid times. So all of you who have those awesome moms... remember every once and a while to say thanks! Thanks for going through all that pain... and thanks for being there through mine.

Love ya mom!

Pauls Personal Ad

2008-01-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

Athletic structure, tan, loves long walks, sunsets and... talking with God?

What a personal ad. God shaped a great man when he formed Paul. Paul is not only the writer of my favorite book of the bible... Romans. But he attests to one of the biggest things people of today struggle with... physical fitness. When posed the question, "Does spiritual "fitness" and physical fitness connect? are they related? can you be well-lived in one without the other?" The answer is you can't have one with out the other.

66 percent of americans over the age of 20 are over weight... 66! That means if you we're standing with two other people chances are two of you are over weight. (and don't worry... i'm DEFINITELY NOT pointing fingers....) 17% of americans exercise for well over an hour, while the rest of us scarcely stir at all. The vast majority of Americans believe in God, and more than 90% own a Bible, but only half can name a single Gospel, and 10% think Joan of Arc was Noah's wife. Americans are so consumed with living the everyday task, we become part of the norm instead of living life for God and being different. So, Kayla, you've thrown all these facts... but why do they connect? In Matthew 4:4, "It is written: `Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' So if we don't just live on food... maybe we should start taking that into consideration. In Jeremiah 29:11 God said, "I know the plans I have for you ... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Did you know the leading cause of death in America is due to the effects of obesity? Heart attack, Heart failure, link... obesity. Why would God not worry about our health if he wrote he does things not to harm us? So i'm pretty sure He's saying... hey Kayla... become physically active.

So what does that mean for me? I'm definitely not a paul, I'm not Mrs. Let me walk across the country while I talk to God and figure out what to write to his people. Nor am I Mrs. lets go to the gym today and sweat. In the short range... oh i'm doing fine... in long range... I wish I would have been more productive and read into Gods word and became more proactive. There are times when I come home from work and i'm tired and plop down and watch a little tv to unwind. Why not read my bible or go for a walk? I need to become more intentional about how I live my spiritual and physical life. Lets go back to Paul... Paul I would say is one of my spiritual role models. Paul was really big into witnessing and he was able to witness to so many people because he was intentional about what God had willed for him. He knew he could not reach people if he was so tubby he could barely walk from his home to the well in town to get his soda and be out of breath. He knew that God didn't want him to sit around eating his potato chips writing letters with big grease stains to Rome. God pushed him to walk, jog, even run while he was worshiping with him. intentional.

So God didn't put us on earth to be physically fit yet spiritually limited. Or even Spiritually fulfilled yet physically detained. God put us here to live in moderation... he wrote, "with everything you do, do in moderation." So to be the person God created us to be... we need to live in moderation... become intentional... turn our "i'll exercise when I have more time" into I'll exercise now... i'll make God's will for my life a priority. I choose Him.

When you see the next girl/guy on the cover of the magazine with their perfect bodies... remember... It's only half of the story... the other half is what is inside... what you can't see. Are they happy with themselves... emotionally? Are you happy with the way you live your life? I'm not... I'm making a change.

A whole NEW world

2008-01-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

SO this evening I was at work helping some ridiculous man who pretty much wanted to test my knowledge of the covey family. Good thing I simi-pay attention... I was able to answer most all of his questions.... I even ended up listing the 7 habits of highly effective people... in order. Being on a trivia show all night was simi-exhausting but it reminded me of the absurd disney questions I received... some of my favorites were:

1. What time is the 3 o'clock parade.
2. Where can I find thing one and thing two t-shirts.
3. Do you have... Dora the explorer, Shrek, or fraggle rock stuff.
4. Why does mickey only have four fingers.
5. Can I purchase the store decorations.

people are so funny and ask the most random questions ever. SO i'm going to give away some disney secrets... SOOO if you're a huge disney fan and don't want to know any of the behind the behind scenes of disney... don't read on!

5. In Disney world... Magic Kingdom is actually on the second level. Where ever you walk when you're in magic kingdom... you're actually walking on a second floor! There's a WHOLE new world beneath your feet... called the utilidoors.
4. Anything that you lose and don't claim in Disney goes to a place called cast connections. Where the cast buys your losts and founds... sunglasses, cameras, toys, anything.
3. 75% of the cast members are actually college students from all over the world.
2. In High School Musical Zac Effron actually does NOT sing. All the singing is done by the castmember who actually wrote the songs. He's featured on the HSM ON-STAGE edition because Zac was shooting for Hairspray. SO after everyone realized wow... he CAN sing... boom second HSM... it's all Zac.
1. When tinker bell is finished with her flight from the castle (which is the only time you can see tink besides the other parades.) anyways... she flies to the opposite side of the park... and you think ohh.. she disappeared... actually she hits the building... well a mattress pad which is held by another cast member... and she falls roughly 8ft and is caught by another cast member. crazy right.

Well those are just some trivia things to know... DISNEY UNLEASHED!!

Child Birth... a guys perspective.

2008-01-03T21:03:00.001-08:00

SO... thanks to my good buddy Taly. I've been Youtubing like its an athletic event. I've decided that my blogs have been so serious lately and my personality is almost the complete opposite... SO I decided I need to bring some comedy to my page... thanks to the glorious youtube... I've pretty much found the complete collection of the most random videos of all time. This one is a christian comedian Bob Smiley. SO enjoy his take on child birth... what great insight to the mans mind. hahahah.

Going.... ALL the way.

2008-01-02T07:55:00.000-08:00

I'm now in the midst of almost finishing a new book entitled going all the way. I recommend if you ever see a copy of it you better snatch it up!!! This book has definitely shaped and/or reenforced all the views of relationships that I have already realized. I'm at that point in my life that probably in the next 6 years i'm probably going to tie the knot... hopefully. haha. It will definitely not be anytime soon... since i'm missing one of the key ingredients... a man.

moving on.

I'm so excited to enter that part of my life that God has planned for me. I know that it will be a life altering moment and open the door to great opportunity. I also know that it can lead to destruction if not prepared for in the right way. I don't want to be another statistic. I have some guidelines. MOST IMPORTANT... he must be a Christian. I know what your thinking... what does that matter? If you marry him, he'll become a Christian too.... WRONG. If he did become a Christian I wouldn't want it to be because he felt like he had to, God doesn't want his heart if its only offered as a "because I have/need to". In the book i'm reading he puts it like this, "Dating/marring a non christian is like giving two sets of building instructions to different contractors and telling them to build the house and start at opposite ends, it just doesn't work. I know that some people believe that God has given them this non-christian and that's who their supposed to marry. Why would God send you someone that is not going to draw you closer to Him?? Why would he want to set someone up for failure? God didn't put us on earth to go around witnessing to our perhaps future husband... or at least I don't think so. SO I'm going to find the one that God has sent to me, someone to develop my heart and shape me to be even more like Christ. I want to find someone who takes me to a new level in my relationship with God where we can grow... together. If you get anything from this blog it should be that God designed us to love. Love people Love God Love our future spouse. I want to Go all the way with my relationships and I know that God has designed that perfect plan for me.

I'm going to follow.

A NEW YEAR

2008-01-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2008.

I welcomed 2008 in a COMPLETELY different way this year. I actually chose to go with a friend that I work with to her 20-somethings church group new years party. I had many choices and why I choose that one... still baffles me. ANYWAYS. So I went to a place, where I knew... um.. no one. And as the evening went on, the ones who I came in contact with were really nice and...
OKAY lets skip to the point of that evening.
When the clock struck midnight we of course cheered and everyone gave hugs, handshakes, smiles. BUT THEN the unexpected happened, the big Lindedwood basketball player of the house got up and announced that he would like for us to take time and pray over the new year. first of all i've never been to a new years party and prayed over the new year, nor had I seen a real big basketball player in front of all his peers lead a group in prayer. SO as amazed as I was, I knew that God had put me there for the new year... for a reason. Almost everyone in that room... roughly 25 ppl... prayed out loud. It was amazing most wanted to expand their vision, some wanted that one person they've been working on to make that leap into faith, others just prayer about the present and what to look forward to. An amazing experience.

My prayer for the new year is that God takes my dreams and makes them God-sized dreams. I pray that he awakens my passion for the lost, and helps me define an outlet that I can serve His greatest purpose. I pray that he speaks to people through my blog, through my actions, through my life. I hope that I can become a life-long learner in Christ. I hope that Christians live this year with greater passion than they have for any year before. I pray that this year, is the year of change, a year of passion, a year of... living.

I'm sure you've all made your new years resolutions.... but have you prayed a new years prayer?

We can all make resolutions,
We can all fail at keeping resolutions,
We can all succeed if we... as the saying goes.... let go, and let God.

The Real Me

2007-12-27T10:56:00.001-08:00

This video really speaks my heart. I not only feel that passion toward the lost but sometimes the lost are not the only ones who need saving... I love the phrase, the longer you wear a mask, the more your face will conform to fit it. How true is that for Christians... wearing masks... going through the motions. I really hope that this song speaks to you, as it does for me.

What matters most...

2007-12-24T22:55:00.000-08:00

Tonight was Christmas eve... the beloved holiday celebration of opening presents... it's a Goldsmith tradition... not that getting up early stuff that most families do. It's definitely a tradition I hope to carry one day into my marriage.

This year I really enjoyed the christmas spirit.... I truly believe I could have had nothing under the tree and enjoyed it just the same. My little sister had roughly a bizillion presents under the tree so the excitement on her face was priceless. My favorite was when she opened up Hairspray the movie and I'm pretty sure i've never seen a lit up christmas face like that one... she was beside herself with excitement.

How great would it be to have that excitement back in life. To do things and your face light up so bright and your smile taking up half your face. How many times do we all get caught up in the daily routine we forget that God didn't put us on earth to roam around without emotions.... much less roam around and be purely unhappy.

So if we get anything out of this Christmas I really hope that I can carry that image of joy in my head to remind me to live life to the fullest.

I really believe i've started down that path... there's no need to fret on the small things. God isn't a little kid up in the sky with a magnifying glass ready to burn off our antennas so that we wander around aimlessly. God is Joy. It's almost as if when you look into a child's expression in that moment you almost glimpse God.

Where do you see God?

A Christmas Story

2007-12-23T19:59:00.000-08:00

What is Christmas?

What an easy question to answer, if you're four. My little sister, who is four, would say Jesus was born on Christmas and we get presents from Santa. How does that correlate? As we grow older we realize the "true" meaning of Christmas... or at least we develop OUR true meaning of "Christmas". Perhaps that means family traditions, never-ending checkout lines, pictures with some random man in a red jumpsuit. I think it's time to re-evaluate.

This year I'm ready to step out of the Christmas box and re-decorate. Change the lights from last year that do the constant programmed choreographed blinking to an updated massive power watt strand that is a constant reminder that you even have a tree in your living room. I want to shine and remember where my power source comes from. I want to read the story of Christ coming to earth and taking his first breath and remember why I breath every day, my purpose. I love how God comes so humbly in the form of a small helpless baby boy and how radically the lives of two parents changed. It's more than just the birth of a baby, it's the birth of true love. A true passion for people. A beginning of change.

I'm ready to embrace Christmas and the new year. I want to focus on God. I love what Paul writes (Romans 3:29-30 MSG) God does not respond to what we do: we respond to what God does. We’ve finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting Him set the pace.

So Take my Christmas take my New Year, set the pace.

I'm ready to run.